Here she comes
2005-02-13
@ 11:17 p.m.
Life has a funny way of reminding you things that you already knew. I guess it's God's way to tell us something, or at least one of his many mysterious ways.
In the last couple of days, I was reminded of how unhappy I am with my life. In many ways I'm quite content, like my job, my friends, the new friends that I've made. On the other hand, I know that something is amiss. An unspeakable emptiness, gnawing in me, sometimes I don't know what to do. I really need to find a place to scream out, letting go of all my frustrations.
Another thing that I was being reminded was that there are people who can and will make use of you. Be it a simple request at work or a friend asking for a lift home. And while I'm at it, I must say having a car has its moments, but it also draws a different crowd of people and it just irks me. Yes I'm a miser, but I have my generous moments too. I wish I could just scream at these people instead of having to maintain a smile and excuse myself, getting myself out of a fix.
Another reminder that occured was probably the one most anticipated questions during the new year. My relatives always ask me the same question every fucking year until it came to a point where they stopped asking and asked my parents instead. Last year was the exception; M was at my place and they all got to see her. Thinking about it, I wonder what they were thinking when they saw her. Anyway, that doesn't really matter now. This year, instead of getting the gossip from the folks, they came straight to me, without any reservation, and asked "So Elvin, where's your girlfriend? Do you have a girlfriend? Why not? Then when are you getting married? Do you plan to get married? Why not?" This year the questions went on and on. Thankfully I had my cousin around to give me a hand to get me away from the barrage of questions thrown at me. At long last he is getting married. Alot of the relatives were quite happy that its going to be this year. I reckon next time this year, there will be no one else but me on the "When are they getting married?" list. In fact, my sister and I will probably be the top 2 on that list. I have a feeling that she's might just tie the knot first.
Right, I think it's time to turn in. If you're reading this, before my heart turns back to stone, I wish you a Happy Lunar New Year and a Happy Valentine's Day.