A death in the family
2005-08-17
@ 11:39 p.m.
She laid still as I carried Jas towards the door. Her eyes were still open; I thought she was still staring at me. Dad hurried us out of the house. I could see Jayne poking and there was nothing.
All I could think was how light jas was. All I could hear was her wailing and crying. I couldn't really see how bad it was, there were smears of blood here and there. I was just comforted by knowing the fact that all digits were intact.
After Jas went in, Jayne started crying. My guess was the reality of things were sinking in. Words like bruises, lying there, not moving, still warm were all I could hear. I stayed calm, comforted her as best as I could.
He called. He asked me what could be done. I gave him options. He asked me later if I could lend him a hand. Part of me told me I should, the other half told me I should just tell him to finish what he started by himself.
When Jas came out, there was no need for stitches, just bandages. She commented that her foot looked funny. I thought I'd lighten the mood as I said that they look like hooves. It didn't work. No one thought it was funny.
We came home. She's gone. I went to my room, carried my baby and gave her a hug. The sisters went back to their respective rooms. Jas felt bad about what happened. Apparently she's not the other one as Jayne wanted to be left alone too.
Several minutes later, the folks came back, consoled the sisters and tried to make them understand why they did what they did. As I watched, I knew I'm the one needed to be left alone now.
Listening to Jack Johnson doesn't help. I feel lousy and sorry. I feel like crying but I can't. Underneath the cold exterior, it is a raging storm. What happened tonight just added more fuel to the fire.
Jewel, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry you had to go that way...